"Hello,testing.check,1,2,3......"

when my friends cried "stampede!!",i obviously thought they were crying wolf,but now...
i lie stamped,trampled,among a pile of other victims,
and i warn you,Beware!!
all you messagers,their out to get you!!
who,you ask??
A swarm of fast-breeding messages,out to trounce you with their triviality!not just once,but a cuzzillion times!!(to ya mathematicians,that stands equal to 10^3 billion :b)

Behold my dukh bhari kahani!
"It all began the day I changed my cellphone connection,the first message i recieved was-

'hey brutus...happy B'day,dude....though belated"-Bella
pleased I was,unaware of the torture i'd face recieving the same b'day greetin 5 times!!but there was more...

"kahan par hai be??!! saala kamre ki chaabi leke bhag gaya!"-Ayush (a good 7 times)
(p.s i even recieved the same message 2 days after leaving kota!),

"hey combo!when ya comin yaar? miss ya dude"-Gul (thrice,even after i met the sender!),

"ab kya batau,bhai?? haal mast bhi hai,kharaab bhi,tu nai samjhega tu engineer nahi hai"-Anna
(so many times i decided to become one just to get her point!)

And the most painful and adamant was
"Hyyyiiiiiiii!! :)"-Shanku
(fourth day running)

So now I issue guidelines a to how to save your souls from being sucked into black holes,
1.forward all good jokes to me,your phone shall attain salvation
2.call MJ
and say "bas sir aiwai hi yaad aa gayi thi aapki" when he's in class
3.leave your mundane lives behind for half an hour daily and watch "India TV"!

blood brothers

Two brothers,two identities,
Twice the dreams,twice the ambition
Ambition? One's was dead,while the other manic
Both wanted one thing,gold
One wanted nothing less than a mine
The other content with a mouthful
For this both dug deep
A mine deep into the earth by one
The other dug and dusted the ruins within himself
Both engrossed themselves deeply for their treasure
When they were close to reward,
It set in,shunning all love and sharing
Greed,a brother forgotten,they dug
Alas!the mine collapsed,
Burying a gem among the gold,
The other perished too
He had success,the treasure found
But there he stood in an abyss he dug himself
Crying for a brother he had (deliberately) forgotten so long
He had the treasure he seeked but it could not get him out
Now he lies in that very abyss,and sings
Songs the world marvels at
but does not know the origin of which
Songs for his treasure,
which now were his brothers memories
His gold now lies next to him ,rotting
Now the only gold among these brothers
was an artery joining them

Centerstage For What??

Wish I lived closer to the sun,
I Know I won't have many neighbors,
No visits from friends,
It might be a little too hot,
It might give me sun burns a bit too often,
But it will be worth more than that,
At least I'll be in the spotlight.

"the good,the bad,the teachers"

Dated:-05-02-2009
Place:-My birthday party
Enter:Two Little Birdies (Yup,one devil,one angel, like the one that pop's on Tom's shoulder whenever he's plotting something against Jerry*Don't know where they get such ideas,Sheesh!!*)
Me(thinking):-A year older today!!,
19 years of life,I'm forced to look back and think.
Birdy No.1(the devil):-Think all you want!!you good-for-nothing Freak!!What are you celebrating??19 years of doing absolutely nothing??
Birdy No.2(the angel):-What are you screaming at the poor boy for brother??It's his B'day!!
Me:-Don't mind me butting in gentlemen,But I have to say this winged fella here is right.
Birdy No.1:-Oh,Shut up!! Ya wanna know what I'm yelling for??You're turning 19 today,right??
Me:-Yes
Birdy No.1:-So??You ain't done nothing worthwhile!!Look at all you've lost!
Me:-Whatcha mean??
Birdy No.2:- You haven't lost anything,look all you've got friends,family,knowledge,achievements,
so do you still believe you've lost ??
Me:-You're right,I should be looking on the bright side of all these years.
Birdy No.1:- Yeah right!! so will a list convince you??
Me:-Shoot
Birdy No.1:- Like you can no more
1) be the youngest kid to win an Olympic medal,
2)oscar,
3)swim across the english channel
Etc,etc,wtc,ptc..
Satisfied??
Me(Aghast and wide mouthed in realization):-I Can't do that anyway!!
Birdy No.1:-Yeah you can't!! you like don't have complete limbs,are mentally retarded,and all that!!
Me:- It's not like that,It's just that I never thought of it
Birdy No.2:-It's not your fault,child,No one's perfect.
Birdy No.1:-Nah,you're a perfect loser!!
Me(even more dejected):-It's no use,the horned guy right!!
Birdy No.1:-You know what makes me sick??
Even after hearing all this you're not give an ounce of time to all you still can do,
You know why?? Coz you're loser!!
Birdy No.2:- Time is measured in seconds not ounces(yup he's my good half all right)
Birdy No.1:-Do you mind??I'm trying to make this guy feel sorry he was ever born!!
Me:-Hey horned freak!!what can I still do?
Birdy No.1:-Like you're gonna do anything about it!!
Like you can still
1)win a nobel
2)go to space
3)Be the president
But!!..........
You're none the less a loser!!
Birdy No.2:-Your a good human being as of now.
Me:-Shut up for a second will you!! I want more!! hey you,horned guy!!
You just wait and watch!!
(Just then I saw it!!)
Me:- hey horny guy!!how come ya got a halo??
Birdy No.1:-Awh it's just the lighting,nothing much
Me:-That is what it is,Isn't it??
(He leaves)
Me:-good bye and thank you
Party Guests:-Well now that you've stopped talking to yourselves let's party!!
Moral of the story:-The devil need not be taken as bad,well as long as you take it that way!!
And never talk to yourself at your own birthday bash!!

Ladies and gentlemen!! welcome to "prashnotari" only on dd 1!!

I was tagged by Editor-in-chief months ago!! so what??
I like procrastinated,that's it
So here goes One hell of a sneak peek into the life of yours truly

• Describe your perfect Sunday morning?

Wake up early,study early in the morning,be obedient all day,clean the windows,wash the car and study the rest of the day,THAT is my perfect Sunday made to order by my dad,
Well it does go like this,wake up no earlier than 1300 hours,standing by the "no study on Sunday" protocol with Silas's piousness(god bless Dan Brown),that's about all I'll do.

• Favorite song of all time?
  "kisi ki muskurahaton pe" from "Anadi",I detest himesh more than I hate brocolli(matter of fact,I haven't even tasted brocolli,but I'm a man of my word,I'll hate it the day I taste it)
  

• How tall are you?

6"0' :)

• If you could be successful at any job in the world, what would that job be?

Feeding wild sharks ,no seriously,
I'll be the first guy to actually have "job security" in this field,no shark worth all his teeth will eat a 6 foot 62kg human skeleton!!
(Besides that I have a little something for sharks)

• If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

Terebithia!!
but only if I get my RDA* of cute little kids everyday MMmmm....... yummy,Pass the KFC dip wouldja??

*Required dietary allowance

• If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be?

I wanna be :
1) Captain Jack Sparrow!!
All he ever does is eat peanuts,woo de females,eat more peanuts,
look like Johnny Depp, and save the day!!
2) M F Husain!!
All he does is make doodles of naked women(I know ya call that ART,I do too,but it is what it is essentially),Have crushes on young actresses(And ya called jacko disgraceful!!)

• If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook?

I wouldn't mind sharing a bit of those kids,anything for friends,ye know.

• What is your favorite word?

Kaw Kaw,Plus a few mating calls ;)

• What makes you cry?

Your friendly neighborhood important ingredient of my diet,
Onions!!

• If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?

A male lion,they boss the females,eat their hard earned prey,get a whole lotta females, and are called the "king of the jungle" for doing just about that!!

• If you could time travel to the past to correct any mistakes you feel you’ve made, would you?
  None that I know of!! (or done intentionally)
  And if your gonna ask were all these kids disappear to,I'm a growing boy!!
  
  

• Do you believe that the cup is half empty or half full?

No cup for me,us people in Australia like it big,mate!!One keg for the road,mate!!
Well half full.

• What do you do for fun?

Feed Tyrants like Sandy,Mandu, To the sharks(yes I love them very much,the sharks),

• Are you an outdoor or an indoor person?

Depends,If it's my mom grounding me,I'm indoors(Go to your room!!)
Or DAD,then of course,it's outdoors for me(Get out!!and take your shark tank with you!!(Qurbani,anyone??))

• Where do you see yourself in five years?

Being thrown out of some swanky medical college for keeping a shark tank in the hostel.
(And secretly feeding my lovelies with an assorted collection of lecturers and seniors!!)
They didn't catch me for 5 years!!

• What are you most proud of in your life?

What do ya ecspect mi tah be proud uf??
Being a 18 yer-old??
I'm not even thru wid mah spellin yet!!

• When do you plan on getting married?

On finding a "sundar,susheel,sanskari bharatiya kanya",matchin our"kundlis",and then waiting for the muhurth,yup ya guessed it right,true blue Indian!!

• Get the number or give the number?

Rock pigeons Jindabad!!(I was told doves were extinct)

• Romance or Kinky Sex?

romance as long as it doesn't cause craters(in my purse),and the latter as long as it too doesn't cause any craters(elsewhere)

• How do you feel?

Better now,thank you.

• What size shoe do you wear?

Eleven(Does Fe Fy Fo Fum ring a bell??)

• What is your favorite clothing brand?

Weekender,Flying machine ,and speedo(???) (ya don't expect me to go shark feeding in a tux)

• Water or 100% Juice?

Water.

• T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel?

No mobile,no tension!!

• Would you rather be hot or cold?

Cold! Like the iron pole your stuck to for eternity on licking!!

• Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

Don't know about you guys,but I can replace mine with toothpicks anytime and no one will know the difference!!

• Favorite Place to Eat?

In bed

• Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?

Play

• Most Memorable Past?

When I was Julius Caesar,nah when I Was Da Vinci??Or Maybe bruce lee,I can't favourite one.

• Most embarrassing moment?

Bleaaahhhh!!!! Oops did I just do that?? I'm so sorry!!

• If you had to pick one car, which would it be?

Anything the Indian government gives it's president,Yup ya guessed it!!
I wanna Hitch hike the president!!

• Your favorite Disney Films?

I wouldn't mind Cinderella if Timon and Pumbaa popped in once a while!!

• Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cause across the road was the premiere of The Nitish Mishra starrer"The limited prodigy"!!
Coming to your nearby theatre soon!!

• Do you support Paris?

If you're talking about that utterly beautiful,spoiled brat of a rich hotel heiress,I sure do!!

• Where is Waldo?

If he's a kid,He sure as hell is in my closet.

• Favorite element?

Of course,It's Kate Winslet!!
What she's not an element?? silver then.(werewolves beware!!)

• What was your last thought?

Could ya kids keep it quite in the closet,I'm trying to think here!!
You keep quite there,or I'll give ya all back to your parents!!
(Yup I really know what scares them most)

• Firefox, Internet Explorer, Netscape, or other?

Firefox.

• Who are you going to vote for ?

Whoever that lucky bloke is,he sure is one voter card away from me!!

• Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?

Milk and cookies

• Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?

A bad laugh.

• Are you a cat or a dog person?

A dog definitely!! A very attention seeking person,look I can even wag my tail!!

• Would you rather be blind or deaf?

I don't mind ,Both!!
highly developed telencephalon olfactory lobes are all I need(Dan Brown,anyone??)

• Define yourself in three four words…

Fire in the hole!!

• Do you eat cold cereal at night?

After having a year's stockpile of Cute,innocent kids and seafood(yup,the sharks,I'm open to calamities!!) you really think I have cereal!!!

• What is your favorite TV show?

Friends without any of those guys around,I so do wish I could keep my room that messy!!

• Do you shower every single day?

Whatcha mean?? It's not everyday an Anti-pollution team comes home!!
I always told mom not to trust that toaster salesman!!
Oh yes,of course,I do shower every single day!!

• Boat or bus?

Arrr.... shiver me timbers!! Get aboard me Black Pearl!!ye good-for-nothing Oldies!!.
Need a hint??

• What is your favorite food?

Homemade food,or should I say pizza-hutmade food??

• Do you read Harry potter books?

Who harry??
Oh you mean that Aragog killing-voldermort slaying-snitch catching-save the day tupe of a chick magnet??
No never heard of him.

• If you could have one super human power what would you choose?

:) !!!It's true,the ability to spread it is superhuman.

• Have you had a beer in the last week?

You know who ya talking to mate?? I'm Steve Irwin!!(and jack sparrow and batman and.....)
You don't expect me to catch croc's with a beer can under me belt do ye??
Hic!!! Oh I'm sorry.

• Vitamin Water or Gatorade?

None.

• Favorite body part?

My feet.

• Flip flops or sandals?

Neither!! I just love hush puppies Hush puppies,
you believed that??I want the homing missile that hit Bush!!(them Iraqis sure know their footwear all right!)
I-pump!!(god bless Reebok)

• What do you do on Fridays?

Nothing!! except....Now you wouldn't want me to repeat what I wrote to question#1 would you??

• Do you like bananas?

Sure do

A tear that split heaven

My world stalled,frozen and motionless
All because a drop fell,
A drop was all it was,
But it stood my entire worth alone,
In flesh,In bones,In services
In colors I was yet to see,
A drop,yet an ocean churned within,
A tear,yet blood tasted sweeter,
Potent enough to split my heaven
My angel cried.......

The day I stepped on another's paradise""

A beautiful day,worth all my life left just to savor,
A well intentioned walk was all it was,I thought,
I walked barefoot on the grass,wild though it was,
Treasuring every moment of being there,
For it was there I loved ,and was loved,
All my imperfections were trapped there,
While my happiness resided within,
It was then I felt it,pain,truly deliberated,
A sting was all it was,but it gave me visions,
Visions of my paradise engulfed in a fire,
Me well out of harm's reach,alone,
All elements that made my paradise truly mine,all ablaze,
I lamented,helpless,then I saw it,
A dragon,breathing it's fire on all I loved,
As I stood there watching it all burn,
A fire churned in me,One born solely by anger,
In all my rage to reclaim all that was mine,
I attacked that mountain of hate,
I knew I stood no match,but all I wanted was for it to feel,
The pain I felt,for I had lost,I had felt sorrow,
In my attempt,I stung it with a venom,
A potent mixture of all my grief,anger,hatred
The monster seemed shaken in a moment,
All of a sudden,I pitied the creature,for he must have had one too,
But the only pain I felt now was the sting on my bare feet,
There on my feet were ants,staggered yet continuously stinging,
Injecting into me all their hatred,
There I stood on a destroyed ant mound,
It was a paradise none the less for each and every one of them,
Feeling sorry,and even more guilty,I rebuilt the mound,
Hurrying home,the visions still fresh
I found no paradise there,even though I left it there,
The people I loved were still there,they still loved me,
But with them now also resided the fear of losing it all.